I thought immediately of Bob and Rebecca Monk as bridal shop owner Madison West explained the workings of Brides Across America, a designer flowy wedding dresses giveaway for soon-to-be military brides.
The two are Bucks County natives stationed in Hawaii, where Bob serves as a United States Marine, and where Rebecca, who retired from the Marines in 2008, cares for him, their home and their children, Claudia Nicole, 6, and Bobby Monk V, 4.
These days, life for them is darned good. It took hard work and devotion to make it so.
Rebecca used to be Becky Opielski. Raised in Fairless Hills, she was Bob Monk’s sweetheart at Pennsbury High School. They graduated in 2002.
At the time, neither kid had the money to cover college tuition or to just move out on his or her own, Rebecca told me in an email from Hawaii.
“(We had) no idea of what to do with ourselves, but we knew we wanted something great. Something that wasn’t just the same old high school kid nonsense. We were ready for real life and we didn’t have the slightest clue how to get it,” she explained.
Bob mentioned he’d thought about joining the Marine Corps. Challenging work he could be proud of. A way to serve his country, earn a living, maybe some money for school, get a start on his own path. But he wasn’t so sure he could leave Rebecca to pursue vintage wedding dresses.
Then, don’t leave me, Rebecca told him. I’ll go with you, she said, and it wasn’t long before they’d both signed on with Uncle Sam.
Not long after that, they graduated separately from boot camp on Parris Island, each with honors, and not long after that, they looked at one another and realized that if they weren’t married, the government had no obligation to keep them together.
The two decided to marry during a 10-day leave between boot camp and their next assignment.
If Rebecca dreamed of a fancy, formal wedding, she put that dream on hold.
“While it was not our intention to get married in a courthouse between probation hearings, we realized that if we wanted to stay together, being married was the only way to do it,” Rebecca recalled. “I literally ran through the mall in a pink lace wedding dresses — because I couldn’t find a white one — looking for matching shoes. Did my makeup in the car, and rushed to court to be married.”
Women who fall in love with guys serving their country often don’t have time to save and plan for weddings for other reasons. Deployment orders can come out of the blue. Couples marry quickly rather than part ways. Sometimes, it’s a way to better afford living.
“Marines don’t get paid much. They get ‘basic pay.’ When they get married they get ‘basic allowance for housing.’ It’s additional money so that they can afford an apartment or house,” Rebecca explained.
Money for a trumpet wedding dresses, too? Hardly.
“Of course, the dress is a dream of every bride, however many times, military brides just have bigger things to think about. (They) end up sacrificing the modest wedding dresses and dress of their dreams so that they don’t lose the little time they have to marry the man of their dreams,” Rebecca said.
Which is why Rebecca agreed with me that Brides Across America is a nice, practical way to honor military families. “A nice touch,” Rebecca said.
The father of Madison West, the owner of the Say Yes to the wedding dresses sash
shop in Huntington Valley, was a career sailor. He died last year, as did her mother a few months later. She just couldn’t pass on this opportunity to honor their memory and their 60-year marriage.
Madison, who is 50 and the mother of two grown sons, will have 25 designer gowns, sizes 6 to 20, to give away to brides first come first served. Designers include Justin Alexander, Liz Fields, Eugenia Couture, San Patrick & D’Amour and others. Some backless wedding dresses are samples that Madison reserved for the event; others are donations from her designer vendors.
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